Well, let's just say this is the worst and stupidest injury I've ever experienced. People ask every day "what happened to your arm??!!" I really wish I had a great story to tell . . I've thought up a couple good ones about wild dogs or gang fights, but the truth is pretty dumb and boring. I laugh and tell them "I was ICE DANCING . . " Reality is, I just slipped on the ice.

I was on my way to work early the morning of Jan. 4th, 1999. I went to my car, and was getting my keys ready to unlock my door, and somehow my feet slipped out from under me. It was no ordinary fall. It was FAST and HARD! My whole body weight fell on my right wrist (dominant hand). The ground had snow on it, but underneath was a sheer block of ice. I knew right away I did something REALLY BAD to my hand. I got in my car, and started it. The sun through the ice-covered windshield got real blurry and fuzzy-looking. The car stereo sounded like it was miles away. I knew I was gonna' faint. I sat still and put my head as far forward as i could, and stayed that way for awhile until the faint feeling wasn't as bad. I went back inside the house, and called work. I moved my arm around a little - it didn't hurt very bad until I twisted it, then there was a SHARP pain. The whole hand felt funny. A co-worker offered to drive me to the hospital. I still wasn't convinced I had broken it. I have had lots of worse falls, I thought, and was pretty sure I had only bruised it. They convinced me to go to the hospital to get it checked out.. .

At the emergency room, the staff there told me I would need x-rays to know for sure, but had maybe broken it. At the worst, they thought I would have to have a cast for awhile. I had the x-rays, and the Dr. came into the room, shaking his head, and his voice wasn't near as cheerful. He said "you really broke it good." He put the x-rays up and showed me where it was broke in three places in the wrist area. He said I would probably have to have a pin put in it to keep it in place. He said that I would have to come back later when the bone specialist was available. Shortly thereafter, another person came in, and wanted me to sign forms to agree to surgery to put FOUR PINS and a SCREW into my arm, and to admit myself into the hospital in order to have surgery done later in the afternoon. I couldn't believe this! I kept asking questions about the long-term effects of the accident, in particular if I would be able to play guitar again. Noone would give me a guarantee of anything. I wouldn't sign any surgery forms until I spoke with the surgeon personally about the operation. The nurses seemed kind of reluctant about this at first, but agreed. I waited in the hospital bed all afternoon dreading the first surgery of my life. I was on the phone most of the afternoon updating people with what I knew.

Finally, it was time to be wheeled down to the surgery area. I was put on a bed, and an I.V. was put in my arm. Or, at least they tried. They couldn't find a vein to put it in. They kept jabbing me with that needle. The nurse thought she had it in right at one point, and told me to relax. She covered me up with warm blankets because the room was cold, covering up the I.V. tube. I laid there for about 30 minutes, and the anesthesiologist arrived. He came over, joking with the nurse. He looked at my arm, and stopped joking. They started talking rapidly and nervously. My arm had swollen up with fluid because the needle had come out of the vein, or something. This was freaking me out badly - I hated the thought of that fluid going into me to begin with, and now the surgery was starting out lousy! I guess they got it fixed, and the anesthesiologist guy found a vein right where the arm bends. They kept telling me the surgeon was on his way, and had called to say he would be 30 minutes late. He arrived later than that, but did come in the room to talk to me. I asked him about the screw he was planning on putting in my arm, and the long-term effects of it all. He said I would never regain full normal use of my hand, but that if I didn't have the operation, I would be guaranteed of never playing guitar again. . . I signed the papers.

They wheeled me into the operating room, and the anesthesiologist and the nurse started joking again, talking to each other like I wasn't there, or still conscious. They were making me more nervous. I guess I shouldn't have worried about being nervous for long, because the next thing I remember is being wheeled back into my room, three hours later! (I had been told the surgery would last 30 minutes!) In my mind I was picturing them putting a big mask over my mouth to put me under, like in the movies. The anesthesiologist guy was sneaky and put something in my I.V. tube.

The rest of the night was kind of a wierd blur, from the effects of the anesthesia and the pain meds. The nurses kept asking me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. I kept saying 6. I should've said more I guess, but to me, 6 is a lot of pain - I ordinarily have a pretty high threshold for it. They were giving me one pill at first, and I kept complaining my arm hurt. One time they gave me pills, and shortly thereafter I told them that those meds helped - had they changed them? They said they gave me 2 pills instead of 1 (the Dr. had ordered 1-2 pills / 4 hours for pain). From then on, they kept giving me 2 pills at a time and it was much better. I am emphasizing this point because my arm started to REALLY HURT, and this is when the pain started to go away - the one memorable bright spot in the evening.

Anyway, I have this brace I will wear on my arm for TWO MONTHS. When they told me about the pins, I was picturing small metal objects inside the arm. The pins turned out to be 4 BIG PINS sticking straight into my arm from the brace. The x-rays show the pins embedded into two or more bones each. The x-rays also show that the pins are THREADED into the bones. The x-rays also show a BIG SCREW going through the wrist bones. The Dr. gave me orders to NOT DRIVE for these TWO MONTHS, saying that my insurance would not cover me if I was in a car accident. He said I could lift no more than a QUARTER POUND with my right hand. He said I should give it rest, and the only physical therapy at this point is to move my fingers, and to keep it above the heart level as much as possible. He warned me about bumping it while the bones are healing.

Basically I've been stuck in my house like a prisoner, at the mercy of friends for rides places (to get groceries, laundry, etc.) When I go outside, the pins get really cold and "freeze my hand." The pins still hurt when I move my arm certain ways, but the Dr. took me off most of the pain pills, except for when I am trying to go to sleep. I can't get my hand comfortable, and my sleep-patttern has gotten messed up. He recently put me on antibiotics, as the last pin had some wierd drainage. I think he is most concerned about my hand getting an infection around the pins. The thing that bothers me the most right now, is that I am still numb around my first finger and thumb. I mean, numb like I can barely feel something touch it. When I asked the Dr. about this, he kind of changed the subject, saying something like "somethings like that might happen - alot of the things that COULD go wrong with your recovery HAVEN'T." He really didn't answer my question, and I will ask it again next visit.

Recently, I've slowly started to go back to work, again at the mercy of friends and coworkers for rides. The Dr. agreed to let me go in as long as I don't overdo it, and keep my arm safe. I'm doing dictations through a cassette player when I go in. The bones are starting to heal. I go in Friday the 29th to get the stitches out. I wonder what kind of scars there will be.

I hope I don't sound too much like a whiner. I usually don't complain about physical conditions, cause, I usually don't have any. This has been the stupidest and the most serious injury I've ever had. I'll get through it. I'll keep you posted . . .